Yu and Mi (Part-4)

Yu and Mi (Part- 4)

** This is a work of fiction. **

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Even though we have met many times so far and have extracted many layers, we are yet to reach that depth where love resides. It’s been 3 years since we are in a relationship, but this ship is still on the land, in the mode of testing. At present, we are trying to detect any faults in the ship, if any, so that when we start our journey on the waves of marriage, our ship doesn’t sink down, which is the case in most of the ships. Strange? I know. It is very complicated to handle all this, to control what we speak, to express and most importantly to love. Even the experts in this field are the owners of many broken ships. A lot happened in these 3 years. One more ship had sinked meanwhile. Her parents got divorced last year. It was the epicenter of this ‘Testing mode’ of our ship. I know it is tough for her to handle this, but it is tougher for me when she says she can handle it all alone. She doesn’t let me console her. She says she can be a man too. Nowadays she has become more of a feminist type. I don’t know whether she even understands what she says. The trends on internet always breaks more than join. I saw time, it was 8:30 pm. I felt tired after a busy day. If you keep doing all day what you don’t like, you are prone to get more frustrated. I tried to sleep for half an hour, but I cannot. I felt as if something is going on in my heart.

A quick meeting was planned by the three important departments of the company. The place chosen was at some height from the ground. There were four rooms but they decided to meet in the first one. There were three people, one each from the 3 important departments. There were two choices. They had to decide on one. The issue was that the company is in trouble and the owner of it cannot sleep at night. There are no revenues and there are assets neither.

The manager of the top department, which deals with technical stuff and investment, said that the company is not running well as we are investing too much in wrong stocks. Even though we got good returns for the first two years, now what we spent is getting more than what we received. Their department believes that it’s time to change the stock in which they are investing and find some better stock.

The manager of the Middle department, which deals with public relations and emotional issues, said that even though the stocks are very good, they are going from a difficult period at present. They are under pressure. Their owner is having personal issues which takes time to get fixed. We got good returns for the first two years of the investment, only from one year we are facing this. If we believe in them for some more time, we will get much more than we have expected. Have faith.

The manager of the bottom department, which deals with growth and pleasure, complained that both the other departments are getting their share of what’s left but his department is yet to receive its payment from the beginning. It’s not fair. But he said his department believes that only this stock can provide the best growth rate to the company. I request you to give my payment soon. Our staff is suffering.

As two of the three managers decided to keep investing in the stock, they decided to go on with the company’s rules. New policies and programing was set and company consciousness was rewired. Suddenly the place began to shake. It felt as if there’s an earthquake. They rushed under a cage and held their hands with a smile on their faces. They remember they felt 2 aftershocks.

After 3 sneezes, I felt somewhat relieved. Something inside was hurting me before this, as if some people were sitting inside my heart and discussing something. After 3 sneezes I felt as if my consciousness has been rewired. New ideas kept coming inside as if more energy has been invested in my body. I realized that she is going through a tough phase, how can I, in such phase quarrel with her. Patience level increased in me. But it is not only me. She is also showing lots of patience. She is bearing the angry side of me. I do business of export and import, which she says is not for me. She says I am meant to write. I write and try to inspire people, but it cannot earn me bread. She always wants me to do something about my passion, I always brush aside the issue. Even I want to do something about my passion, I tried many publishing houses but I got rejected. I didn’t tell her about all this, she is already facing enough. Her mom has shifted to Delhi after the divorce. Anyway, even before divorce she used to stay in Delhi most of the time. This distance was the cause may be which gave this effect. Her dad who is a textile businessman now just sits at home and keeps crying for the lost deal at night. He never invested enough time in the marriage and have invested enough tears in divorce. He is MAD. Yes, MAD, Married and Divorced. RashMi looks after different charitable works. She loves to help poor people and does painting to get funds, charitable funds. She always wanted to be the son which her father wanted, and believe me, she is. But this has also has made her a feminist. She always brings this issue in the middle, like a nose comes in between two two-lipped scissors. I want to be my father’s son she always says. My mindset never lets me feel as I am poor, as I have rich thoughts and a 6-digit bank balance. She always talks about future, will I stay happy doing all this work, she really believes I am meant for writing. But what future? There is no guarantee of the next second and she talks about unpredictable future. It is like you are standing on one shore and you can see your destination on the other shore. But because our present (boat) is not good, lets wait till future (ship) becomes good. You have boat, then travel. My dad is a bank manager. My mom a home manager. Only their son cannot manage anything emotional! I am stuck in between. To continue with export and import or concentrate on full-time writing. Time was over 9. 9 has always been my lucky number, I was born in 9th month and on 9th day. She said she would message me at 9 in the night when I called her in the morning. She should have come home few minutes ago. Even my mobile knows that. It spoke to me in some unknown language after few seconds.message tone.
Whatsapp, RashMI, 2 messages.

‘Hi’
‘How are Yu?’

I typed *I am fine* and deleted it. And typed something else.

Mi is fine. Yu is not fine.’

‘How can Mi be fine if Yu is not fine!’

‘You are not fine?’

‘No, I am fine.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I am.’

‘That’s good. 🙂 ‘

‘Today I went to hospital.’ I felt a chill. What happened suddenly! I didn’t want to spoil a good chat.

‘Pregnant?’

‘Bye.’

‘Sorry. Okay. Tell. What happened?’

‘One of the staff member of charitable trust met with an accident. Someone called me from the spot, as my number was on the last called.’

‘I am so sorry. How is he now? Everything fine?’

‘She died. When I reached to the hospital, everything was over. Doctor said it was very late.’

‘Oh! I am very sorry. May her soul rest in peace.’

‘Thanks! :)’

‘Thanks? For what? For being an accident in your life?’

‘No. For being an angel in my life. You saved my dad that day. I will never forget that AbhimanYu’

‘I was just at the right place at the right time. But you are being a feminist here also. Angel? Me? You say you want to live life like a man. It’s ok. But you are comparing me to an angel! What justice is this!’ I felt guilty the moment I clicked on the send button. My ego typed this, not me. I realized that one sarcastic smiley could have completely changed the meaning of it.

‘Please Yu, not again. I am not up for this today. Angels are heavenly. There are no men and women classifications. I just hope you said this as in a jovial way.’ This relieved me. Not everything has gone out of control. I breathed and then threw my ego in my mental dustbin. Then I started typing.

‘Sorry. I don’t know why, but even I am becoming a menist day by day. My ego is getting better of me. I threw it outside today. See, RashMi, you know I never hurt you intentionally and will never. It is all our uncontrolled emotions that becomes our villian. I am very proud of you. You are a very responsible son and a responsible daughter. And you are even playing a role of a mother, by looking after your father. Hats off.’ Something inside me felt free the moment I sent this message. How great it feels to keep the ego aside and talk with our loved ones. I bet some discussions have taken place in my heart today which has rewired my perspective and consciousness.

‘Thank you AbhimanYu. I needed this assurance. I know you will never hurt me. Yes, my father have become like a child. As a mother, it is difficult for me to handle all this. That’s why I am not committing to you. I cannot handle it. Anyway, it is father’s duty to fulfill the child’s wishes. As I am the mother, can you be the father?’ I realized how difficult it is to be in the body of women. I felt very proud of her and all women at once.

‘Try me’

‘The child needs the real mother. :(‘ She sent this and went offline. I know she will be crying. But crying is important in such situations. If there is no rain, there won’t be rainbow. I have to become that rainbow. Her father needs the real mother, who else it can be, his wife. Now I have a boat infront of me, I won’t wait for the ship. I took out the contact of the real mother. Devyani Mehra. I pressed ‘call’. This is just the second time I am calling her. First time I called her was when his husband was physically hurt, and now when he is mentally hurt.

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Thanks for reading. Have a great day. 

Yu and Mi (Part-1)

Yu and Mi (Part-2)

Yu and Mi (Part -3)

Life is a vector quantity

Most of us live our life as if it is a scalar quantity. But the moment we realize our life is a vector quantity we tend to concentrate on direction of our life rather than magnitude of our life.

Scalar: Something which has just magnitude but no direction.
Vector: Something which has both magnitude and direction.

When we look at world and check at qualities with which we measure life of people, we come to know that they all have been converted into scalar by us. Marks, money, power, passion, age etc. . But in real they are all vector quantities and their directions should be towards goodness. Marks should direct students to improve their skills, money should direct earners to help those who are not in a state to earn, power should direct power holders to use it to get justice for those who seek it. Passion is important, but passion without purpose is not worth of anything. To direct our passion so that it can help others should be a purpose. Age is just a mere number for some, but clever people know age is a factor of experience. As age grows our curiosity should increase in the direction of learning something new. Every day we should learn something new.

Life is not just a journey from birth to death with certain speed (I mean number of days it takes to travel from birth to death, age). Life is a vector by every means. So after taking birth and gaining consciousness, travelling towards a particular direction makes our life more meaningful and journey more joyful. When we ask others, many say future belongs to us. So they think that they work for a better future. To make the future better they sacrifice their present. They think future is a direction which drives them forward. But we often tend to forget that our future doesn’t exist. Future is like a ‘garland’ which is yet to be created with ‘flowers’ which we have at present. But we don’t know whether we will be able to complete it or not. So future is just an imagination. So the real direction of our life is purpose. Purpose is what gives gives our passion a direction. Because purpose is a real thing as it comes from real elements like determination and contribution where as future is formed with thoughts and fiction. Purpose is the back bone of every invention and discovery. So purpose should be the direction of our passion. If our drive for passion can help others to come out of a dark times, then purpose is fulfilled. So direction in our life matters. Travel in a good direction. 

Image source: Wikimedia

Thanks for reading. I have been away from WP for few days. On 29th of August, our most auspicious festival, Paryushan, began and on last monday it has completed. So as it goes that on the final and eight day of this festival we greet ‘Micchami dukkadam’. If in any way my words or actions have hurt you knowingly or unknowingly, I seek your forgiveness. We request this to every individual and thus cleanse our soul from our actions which we may have performed knowingly or unknowingly. Micchami dukkadam. I know i have been late, it was on Sept 5th. 

Life is a reflection of blues

‘Journeys constantly remind us of the purpose of our life which is to travel as many places as we can.’  

Hello friends, I am back to home (not my mind though, it is still wandering in the places we have visited) after a tour of 2 weeks long. The trip was just awesome and beyond words. Nonetheless without mentioning it in words it would be difficult to share the experience. To describe everything in brief detail will be impossible, so I have images and the source of description of those will be your own thoughts on it.

There are over dozen of temples which we have visited in Rajasthan but still we lacked time to get enough of them. The idols of temples range from over 3000 years old to 100 years old. But the short trip of Jodhpur was mesmerizing. Chittar Palace and Mehrangarh Fort can catch every tourists’ eye balls. Life was never so blue when I visited Mehrangarh fort.  The architecture, paintings, art works, living style were something you can just wonder about. First let me show you different temples which we visited.

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All these pictures are clicked by me. Not a professional though but when it comes to pictures, whose not crazy at clicking them?!

OK so trip of Jodhpur is a different level and deserves an another post. Will post it soon.

Some attempts at photography:

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Thanks for reading. And I have missed all your beautiful and inspiring posts in this time. I am a lagging wheel of time now. Will catch up to all your posts soon. Thanks for the support. Excited about tonight’s thriller. India vs West Indies. #goblue #cheeryourteam #sochojeetki

Searching for her in the depths of an ocean

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Image source: Pixabay

I was searching for her with my open eyes,
in the depths of my thoughts, where an ocean lies.
The liquid thoughts were flowing and so was she.
I was chained within myself and she was free.

The depth was so calm but surface erupting,
My thoughts turned into a mood of corrupting.
I threw some pieces of my broken heart into it,
Feelings started to float on the surface, but still, shit!

I was unable to find her even in a bright light.
I felt sad and closed my eyes. I shut my mouth tight.
I isolated myself from that place, I even stopped breathing.
And then just like a magic spell, she appeared raising.

The flowing water became stagnant, she raised from the tents
at a far away distance & came face to face with me in moments.
Only when there is no door or a window to escape from bond
of our body, she appears. Bcoz she is the purpose of our life & beyond.

This poem is written for the prompt Take me to the oceans

Our purpose of life is hidden in the ocean of our own thoughts. It becomes invisible to our open eyes and noisy atmosphere. Only in the calm meditated state our purpose appears to us as there is no room for that purpose to escape as all the doors leading to the outside worlds are closed. Your purpose in you, waiting for you to be discovered. Just as one of my favorite author Dan Brown says ‘Seek and ye shall find.’

Have a beautiful sunday. Tomorrow is the extra day which we are granted only once in every four years (29th Feb), and see the fate, it’s on Monday.

The journey of dreams- From imaginative world to Real world

“Dreams are just like Aeroplanes, even though they are meant to fly high in the air, they still have to run on the land for some time for a safe journey.” – Jackie Jain.

She dreams of being happy, but
dreaming alone is not just enough.

She has to repeat the story, the
story of dreamers, the Wright brothers.

Where to begin is always tough,but
not that tough, if you know where to land.

Not that tough when you know the
purpose of your dream and your will to do it.

People will show fingers, take that finger
count as the fuel for the flight of your dream.

Analyze your dreams carefully because it is like
walking in shoes. Balance between the shoes is the key.

The facts & truths at one end and your imagination
& dream at the other, balancing them you have to walk.

You may stumble and fall on the first step, but you
can’t balance things without an apt measuring device.

Your fall is the measuring device, a call for recheck.
To re-balance the entities on both sides is the measure.

How big your dreams that may be, they still need real
efforts in real time. Dreams have to be realistic in nature.

The dream of yours will undergo a reality check where
your determination, passion and balance will be checked.

The way you have planned your process of converting your
dream into real is the foundation and your talent being pillars.

This strong house of dreams is the run way for the flight of
the reality of dreams. The perfect place to start the flight from.

The bricks of determination, the paint of imagination.
The knowledge of truth and the idea of facts is all it takes.

Only then the universe accepts and creates an Aeroplane for your
dreams to ensure a safe journey from Imagination to the real world.

Everything done before this journey is your run on the run-way
to give your flight of dreams a perfect momentum to take off.

There she landed along with her dreams into the real world, she is
amazed to see the fingers pointing then are shaking hands now.

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Image source: HUMYN

So never take off with your dreams without running on the land, running on the run-way for some time. In that time make your dreams strong for the journey. Never fear the fingers pointing at you if you believe your dreams deserves the flight and safe landing into the real world. Believe in destiny. It reflects your actions and decisions. Decide well. Act well. dream well. Thanks for reading. Land your dreams safely.

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Image source: Life tastes well

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So this is my first post which I have typed and published by using a desktop. Before this post, every post was posted by me through my smart phone. Change in device! let’s see, if any change in response.  Not dreaming much though. Anyway, weekends raise our hopes on dreams by default. So wishing you all a great and peaceful weekend.
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The oceans and infernos of time- Universal Time

He was seeing her, she was ticking around in circles. He was aware that she can never become his companion, still he wanted her, because she rules the world. But he was unaware that she can never be any one’s companion. Because she is universal. Because she is time. Jackie Jain

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Image source : Taylor in Time

I was falling down deeper and deeper in one of her endless infernos,

Her ticking hands were hovering over me with wings holding an array of arrows.

With fear of arrows, I closed my eyes. In that darkness, I saw the words taking a form of DNA structure and were also falling down along with me, but at a far distance.

I tried to view those DNA structured words more closely, and then I was shocked in an instance.

Those were the words which I didn’t express when I had her and expressing them was important then for a good cause.

I realized my mistake and asked her for one more chance. Then there was a pause.

I told her that I will use her well and will never waste a single bit of her.

I saw the ticking hands with wings dropping down the arrows and everything changed thereafter.

For the first time, I saw her without a veil, she was beautiful.

People’s descriptions about her were wrong and deceitful.

She was not strict and limited. She was filled with happiness and abundance.

She was what everyone needs and wishes about, but still no one utilizes her efficiently at least once.

She opened her eyes, it felt like she was revealing her secret to me. I saw around. But no one, except she and me were around.

I was eager to seek in her eyes, but some cogs, each moving at a different speed was what all I found.

She spoke for the first time, ‘This is how I work. This is my universe. No one can reverse my mechanism. Don’t waste me. Once I am lost, I am lost forever.’

I understood why no one can have her. Because she always keeps moving. We have to tick around in sync with her cogs to know her power.

She opened her hearts which are her cogs and showed me the cross-sectional view.

I wasn’t able to believe what I saw as what I saw was something people never knew.

I saw the seven continents and five oceans were arranged in the form of cogs, each moving with their own speed.

Thousands of moments were being written on those cogs according to the need which were difficult to read.

Seven continents namely, Years, Months, Weeks, Days, Hours, Minutes and seconds, where people write their memories, were easily visible.

The sounds of five oceans namely Past, Present, Future, Unconscious state and Dreams, where people travel, were clearly audible.

For the first time I felt happy about her presence,

This experience gave me a purpose and time sense.

She asked me my final thoughts, I declared ‘ It will be a heinous crime,

if anyone don’t maintain you properly, because you are the universal time.’

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Image source: Quotes Gram

If you don’t use the time properly, you will fall deep in the inferno of time

and if you use time properly, you will sail in oceans of time and reach your destiny in time.

Thanks for reading. Maintain her properly.